Early In the Morning on a Friday

I can’t sleep anymore.

It’s quiet outside and I dig through thoughts,

but like Jack Kennedy,

I have holes in my memory and I am lost.

The changes come

and they come like a tidal basin rises.

All or nothing,

I yearn for the days when I was slowly

Killing myself,

but my hepatologist pressured me to stop.

I am told I can be

whatever I want and I have the skills to be great.

Am I just a child?

Because people talk to me like I am and

I am becoming resentful.

Lost in the void

of everyday reality, I just don’t know anymore.

The alarm clocks hum and

I am alone early in the morning on a Friday.

The sun hasn’t arrived yet.

I wish time moved faster and

could keep up with my racing thoughts.

I am entirely awake with no chance of

falling back to sleep, so I count the

minutes between trains that

cross main street, but I am surprised this

morning. The aurora borealis has

reach down from the north and painted

the sky for me. Maybe

I am not alone.